Memories Long Forgotten
by ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl
Summary: The fourth and final addition to the As Long As You're Happy series / Follow Phil through a mystery of odd dreams that he can't help but feel are familiar. As they begin to seep into reality, what will he and Dan find out about themselves? / AmazingPhil, danisnotonfire, Crabstickz, Kickthepj.
1. Familiar

This story is for long-time readers of mine. It would help to read the following stories alongside the rest of the As Long As You're Happy series: Things Left Unsaid, Petals on the Wind, and Secrets Can Kill. The links to these stories can be found on my profile along with an explanation - kind of - as to why I'm back. Thanks and I hope you enjoy.

x.x.x.

**Chapter One: Familiar**

.x.x.x.

Whispers.

They're everywhere. Faint, demanding whispers of mockery and secrets. They drift all around me, a barrier, leaving me no choice but to succumb to their overwhelming murmurs and laughs. I can't think. I can't move.

Until, finally, I can see.

My vision comes to a blurry focus. I am standing in what appears to be an abandoned school hall. Lockers as gray as storm clouds and linoleum tile wore from time appear before me. I blink my eyes and cautiously continue down the hall. Am I drunk? I don't remember how I got here.

I pause before a small bulletin board on the wall. What used to be bright flyers are now dimmed to a pastel washout and are tearing at the ends. Most are illegible from either too many tears or faded ink. A small card pinned to the bottom seems legible enough.

'_Theatre strictly prohibited. Any unauthorized personnel found will be taken into questioning and/or custody. The same rules apply to anyone who tries to leave. _

_Yours,_

_Principal Hugh_"

I place the card back and continue down the hall. My vision blurs to ripples; it's as if my sight is a pond that pebbles are being skimmed across. Maybe Dan and I went our drinking; still, how I ended up in a school is beyond me.

_Phil_

I turn quickly to the left to see nothing. "Hello?" I call out. My feet move under me and I follow the direction from which the voice came from. This whisper is clearer than the others. "Dan? Is that you?"

_Phil_

Before me stands a blue double-door. A sharp pang begins to throb in my head. "Dan?" I choke out. The pain is unbearable. Besides the door is a plaque.

_Rm. 921. Theatre_

_Phil_

I turn around to see a familiar face. "Pj," I greet, thankful to have found someone. "Why are we here? I think I may have had one too many to drink and-" I stop. He stands still and pale, long tears streaking his face. The corner of his mouth quivers, his shoulder shaking slightly from the crying. The side of his head is bleeding.

"Oh my god," I blurt out. Even his green eyes seem dark. "Pj, what happened? Your head. . ."

His stare keeps at me. This chilling, piercing stare wouldn't let up. "Why, Phil?" he cries. "Why do you think you deserve him?"

I step back. "Whoa, calm down. Who are you talking about? Dan?" He quivers.

"You knew I had feelings for him, Phil. That night of Matt's party you goddamn knew. And still you played the stupid card," he pauses and motions to his head wound. "You got what you wanted, yeah? I think it's time I return the favor." He steps forward and I take another step back.

"Pj, what the hell! I, ugh," I grip my head. The pain is worsening with every second. Everything seems like it's spinning to the point that 'dizzy' becomes an understatement. "Who's Matt? And how can you have feelings for Dan! I thought we were friends; plus, you have Chris!"

"You don't fucking talk about Chris!" Pj lunges forward and I fall back against the theatre door. "Dan should have never been yours." He shakes his head and his fist swings at me, only for everything to turn black.

.x.x.x.

"Phil!" a voice was faint. Familiar, maybe. I saw light on my eyelids, but I couldn't come around to opening them. "Phil!" All at once, a wave of fear swept over me and I sat up abruptly.

"Wait!" I yelled out. For a while I waited to be struck or something, but nothing happened. I let my guard down and blinked my eyes open.

"You. . . all right?" I recognized the brown eyes and nodded. "I was worried. You were crying in your sleep."

"Sorry," I muttered and checked the time; it was still pretty early in the morning and I must have woken Dan up. "Just a bad dream, I guess." We had slept in Dan's room the previous night - we usually did, it had become ours.

I started to revisit the previous dream. Surely Pj couldn't have feelings for Dan. Not once had there ever been the slightest clue of attraction towards him. Plus, he loves Chris. In fact, we hadn't seen Pj or Chris in months. As for the high school, I hadn't the slightest clue.

My thoughts were interrupted by Dan. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "No, it's fine. We have a meeting with BBC Radio 1 at ten." Dan and I had landed a radio show at BBC Radio 1 a couple of weeks prior and our first show would be in a couple months. Still we were excited nonetheless.

"Ugh. I just want to stay in bed all day." he lied back down and snuggled into his pillow. It was pretty early for him to be awake so I didn't expect him to stay up.

Ever since we had gotten back from our honeymoon in California, we valued the quiet time. He was drifting to sleep when he lazily opened his eyes. "You sure you don't want to talk about it, Phil?"

I reassured him that I was fine and got out of bed, grabbing any shirt that was within reach. It wasn't until after I had put it on that I realized it was Dan's; not like it mattered. "Hot," Dan murmured with a sleepy smirk. I huffed a laugh and stretched. "And get back here," he whined, reaching lazily from the bed.

"You're so lazy," I collapsed back onto the bed in defeat. A pillow was tossed in my direction.

"Stay in bed with me?"

"I've done that for the last two days, Dan," I sighed."We've got to get up and do stuff. I'll be in the shower." I left the room and heard Dan groan and fall off of the bed.

.x.x.x.

The warm water felt nice. I'd always made important life decisions in the shower, so that was what I was going to do with this whole dream ordeal. Dan didn't know it, but that wasn't the first strange dream I had. They had started not too long after we got back from California; we had been back for a while as it was early December.

The dreams felt more realistic than any other dreams I had ever had. They didn't happen every night and I had only had about three so far. But they were beginning to scare me. I decided I would ask for Dan's opinion.

After my shower, I headed back to our room to see Dan still sleeping. Because of my laziness, I put on another one of Dan's white shirts and some pajama pants.

"Dan," I complained, "We have to leave in, like, two hours."

He groaned from under the covers. "Well, I do believe that that's an extra hour we have that you could spend here in bed with me." I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. And since the room was cold and he looked so warm and comfortable, I took up his offer and spent the hour in his arms.

.x.x.x.

"We totally nailed it." Dan and I high-fived in the elevator of BBC Radio 1. We had just finished our meeting and the guys loved us even more than they did our last. They said we would bring youth to the radio station and that's just what they'd been needing. Though, Dan's only complaint was that he wouldn't be able to swear at all for a full two hours; this would definitely prove to be a challenge for him.

After a debate on where to go for lunch, we finally agreed on somewhere that we'd never been before. We walked around, bumped into a few fans, then stumbled upon a newly opened cafe kind of place. It was a dainty; ivy covered the exterior walls and draped over the large white-framed window at the front of the cafe. Dan opened the door for me and we entered.

"Welcome to Oneiroi. Table or booth?" The inside was just as nice as the outside. A display fridge held cakes and fancy deserts and waiter's podium stood by the side of it. Behind the counter was a spiral staircase. It was exactly as you would imagine a nice, little cafe.

"Booth, please." Whilst following the woman to our booth, a figure bumped into me. "Ah - I'm sorry." I apologized quickly. Dan told me that I apologized too much for no reason, still I couldn't shake the annoying habit.

It wasn't until I stepped back that I noticed that the boy had completely spilled his coffee all over himself. "Man, this is a brand new jumper, too..." The boy was no older than seventeen and stood close to Dan in height. I noticed his American accent and guessed that maybe he was a tourist. He wiped at his oversized, gray jumper and groaned.

"Again, I'm so sorry. Here let me-" I grabbed some napkins from a nearby table and awkwardly handed them to him. Maybe it was just me, but I swore I felt him staring.

"Phil?" he asked with the oddest curiosity in his voice. Immediately, I thought that he was fan of Dan and I's so I gave a proper smile. Dan did as well.

"Man, we've been running into fans all day today," Dan chuckled. "Though, we haven't managed to spill coffee on anyone but you." Absolutely nothing had changed in Dan; his sassy sense of humor still evident in every way possible.

"Fan?" he asked. "Of what?"

Dan and I exchanged odd glances. "Sorry, we just assumed you knew AmazingPhil and danisnotonfire...you know, from youtube." Again with the odd stare. His eyes were the brightest green I had ever seen - even more so than Pj's. Specks of color gleamed in his eyes and the green contrasted coolly with his burgundy hair. It was styled similarly to Dan's, but messier.

"Oh, well, this is awkward," he scratched the back of his head with a grin. "It's just you're so familiar, like - you know what? Forget I said anything." He started walking off.

"Hey, wait!" I called after him.

He turned around. "The name's Aiden. Nice meeting you." I nodded.

I didn't want to admit it, but I felt like I knew him from somewhere as well.

.x.x.x.

**I'm really excited for this story; probably more so than I have been for any other. Again, a link to my past stories is on my profile along with an explanation. Keep in mind that the As Long As You're Happy series is nowhere near anything but fiction. This addition really brings out that fiction side, so just a warning. This is updated twice a week - Sunday and Thursday (this update being an exception). I missed you guys.**

**Love Always,**

**ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl**


	2. Remembering

**Chapter Two:**

**Remembering**

.x.x.x.

The morning sunlight streamed through our bedroom window and onto our bed. I had told Dan about my dreams the previous night and he recommended looking into a therapist. Despite wanting to play Guild Wars 3 all night, he searched the internet for one; and honestly, I felt kind of bad. As concerning as they were, they were just dreams.

As for myself, I just couldn't seem to keep my mind quiet. My thoughts seemed to echo in one big arguing choir of emotions and I couldn't tune them out. No matter how hard I tried not to think about how Pj confessed to liking Dan in my dream, it still lingered in the back of my head, taunting me. That's why what happened next even made me more confused.

Dan walked in, phone in hand. "Did you call the person you said you had found for me?" I asked as he walked to the bed and sat besides me.

"Yeah, the guy said he would be here soon as he doesn't live too far away. Don't worry, he and I already went through a trial of questions via message and he says he's completely professional," he tossed his phone aside and sighed. "Though, Pj called."

I sat up a bit more and stared at him. When I told Dan about my dreams, I decided to leave the part about he and Pj out to avoid awkward conversation. "He did? What'd he say?"

He shrugged. "Just called to catch up. Can't believe we haven't seen him or Chris since we got back from California."

"Do you want to?"

"Well, yeah," he chuckled. "Thing is, Pj says Chris is sick. Can't do anything but sleep and has a high fever that won't go down. We should probably head up and check on him soon."

I nodded. "That's not like him to be sick, either."

We spent the remaining time showering and waking up. It wasn't too much later that there was a knock on the door. "I've got it." Dan called. I sat on the couch and played with one of the pillows nervously.

I waited for Dan to let him in, but he stood there looking lost. "Wow, what are the odds?" I heard the voice say. Dan stepped aside and motioned inside the flat. Immediately I recognize the burgundy hair and green eyes: Aiden, the guy we met at the cafe the previous day.

"Aiden," I said mindlessly as he sat across from me. He pulled a notepad from his bag, along with a pen, and smiled.

"You remembered my name, I'm honored," His eyes dart to Dan who had sat down besides me. "I get it. I'm young and you're concerned, but private sessions only, sorry." I tilted my head curiously.

"What? Why?" Dan protested. "I don't see how there would be any problem if I were to stay. Plus, you're like sixteen-"

"Seventeen."

"Whatever - and a fucking therapist? Yeah, I'm not so sure."

"I work at the cafe as a side job. Enough about me - do you want help or not?" he narrowed his eyes, challenging Dan's stare. I calmed Dan down and told him I'd be fine. Finally, he reluctantly agreed and went to our room.

"It's only natural to want to stay and make sure your husband feels okay, isn't that right, Mr. Howellester?"

I tilted my head. "How did you know we're married?"

His green eyes shone and a slight smile appeared. "Don't worry about it."

.x.x.x.

Aiden was then upside down with his legs hanging over the back of the couch. It intrigued me how he was so serious one moment and then as laid back as could be the next.

So I told him all about my dream.

"And you said this took place at a school, huh?" Aiden scribbled away at his notepad. Our session was coming to an end and I had explained everything to him. He had gotten himself in another weird position on the couch, but I couldn't find the right words to ask why.

"Yeah," I thought back to the dream. Though there were holes where I should remember parts, I tried the best I could. "And my friend Pj was there. We were by the theatre...he said that I don't deserve Dan and that I did something to him, I think."

Aiden nodded as I talked, jotting key parts down. "It's good you're remembering as much as you are from dreams. How did you feel when you saw the theatre?"

"How did I feel? Confused mainly. I don't get what this has to do with anything." I replied. His green eyes flashed up at me before back to his notes. With a groan, he sat back up and closed the notepad.

"Our hour is up," His hands worked at opening his bag so he could slide his notepad inside.

"Wait - that's it? All you did was listen to what I said," I watched as he slung his bag on, then sat back down. "You don't have any advice or anything?"

He looked more concerned than anything. But not at me; more like he was lost in his own thoughts. "Oh. Uh, really try to think hard about these dreams, I don't know. I think we need to have more sessions. I have a feeling if we keep this up, what's supposed to happen will happen."

"What's supposed to happen? And who are you, anyway? No way could you be a licensed therapist at seventeen."

He sighed. "You'll know in time. A bit of a secret - best not to mention it to Dan as he'll freak out - but I'm no therapist. I just like looking into spiritual things. In your case, dreams. Don't worry, I've taken classes and everything," he reassured me. "All you need to know is my name. We're here to talk about you, not me."

"Fair enough," I muttered. As he got up to leave, I noticed a small tattoo on his wrist. "What's that a tattoo of?"

"Tattoo?" he asked. "Oh, this." On his wrist was a small heart in black ink that curled on the inside. He covered it with his other hand. "Our sessions will be weekly. If you need me any other time, find me down at Oneiroi. See you next week, Mr. Howellester."

I caught his eye and the specks were so peculiar. What appeared to just be a normal light green eye actually had so much color in it.

"Mornin', Phil," a voice yawned from down the hall. My eyes shot open;_ he didn't_.

"How many times have we told you that you can't stay here!" I look up to see Alex groggily walk out into the living room to yawn and stretch. "Dan!" I called.

"You know it's past noon, right?" Aiden looked over Alex curiously. " And I'm afraid I don't know who you are." His eyes narrowed and looked at Alex like a he was a new species.

"Yeah, well I don't fucking know who you are either." Alex responded tiredly and grabbed some juice from the fridge. Dan came hurriedly down the hall and into the living room.

"Is everything okay-" his eyes landed on Alex. "Oh, what the fuck!" Aiden looked confusingly at everyone.

"Am I missing something?"

"Yeah," Dan started. "My idiot brother thinks it's okay to take the train down here whenever he wants to bother Phil and I. When did you even get here, Alex?"

He shrugged. "Last night. I slept in Phil's room," Alex had gotten in the habit of running off to see Dan and I whenever he wanted, which got us in trouble since he had school. "Relax. Mum and Dad went off to spend time with Phil's parents. Said something about getting to know the family better. They flew out about an hour ago, I think."

"So we have you visiting, Chris is sick, our families are being weird, and this kid who says he's a therapist that's just a weird waiter. Fucking wonderful." Dan massaged his temple and sat down.

Aiden coughed. "Wow, though. You have a brother...?" I couldn't help but notice how thrown off he was with the whole thing. "Hey, Alex. I'm Aiden. Nice to meet you." he stepped forward, extending his hand for Alex to shake.

Alex gave an indifferent look and set the juice back, then continued back towards the hall. Aiden tossed his bag aside and started after him.

"Just a second-"

"Dude, I don't do handshakes."

"Not even for me?" Aiden smiled and winked kiddingly, which made Alex upset. Rarely did he get genuinely mad, but this seemed to trigger it.

"Leave me alone." he said coldly and slammed my bedroom door. Aiden awkwardly retrieved his bag and started for the front door.

"Teenagers, am I right?" he joked. "He is a teenager, yeah?" Dan nodded and said he turned seventeen in September. "Which day in September? If you don't mind me asking."

"The twenty-first." Dan and I both said.

"September twenty-first. Huh." He bit his lip in thought and left without another word.

.x.x.x.

**This chapter was supposed to be 500 words, but I came home from school earlier and merged some of chapter three in because I hate short chapters. Dumbfuck Alex wasn't supposed to appear until next week - oh well. I hate scraping by with these boring chapters (I assure you, this will get interesting). Still I hope you're enjoying so far, anyway.**

**Love Always,**

**ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl**


	3. The Obvious

**Chapter Three**

**The Obvious**

.x.x.x.

A couple of hours had passed since Aiden left and Dan and I were lounging in the living room. Alex was finally out of my room and was making us dinner - not that he actually offered, of course. Since we were allowing him to stay for a day or two, we made him official chef for the night. Loud clatter and bangs came from the kitchen.

"You know," Dan said in his direction, "you could just learn how to drive already. After all, you are seventeen. Maybe Charlie could teach you?" More noise erupted before Alex responded.

"The guy who used to drive cabs around?" he asked. "I kind of remember him." Charlie would drive cabs around Manchester, but quit for an unknown reason. Since then, he stuck to his youtube career.

"Yeah. I could get you a lesson with him as soon as tomorrow, too. That way you can stop taking the train and, hey here's a random idea, stop visiting us." I don't think Dan hated Alex's presence. I just think it stressed him out. A final loud crash sounded and soon Alex came out with three plates of chicken nuggets.

"Did you use the microwave for these?" I asked, poking at them.

"Yeah."

"Then what was all that noise? You know what? Never mind." Our conversation continued on with pointless catching-up talk. Absolutely nothing had changed in Alex's life, all except for that he was a year older and had gotten his ears stretched slightly. As for Felipe, his goldfish that he accidentally left on the Pierce the Veil tour bus, he said he Skypes with them every now and again.

Dan and I even keep in touch with friends we made back in San Diego. Connor emails me sometimes. He and Rosa seem to be doing well and he says he would love to come out and visit someday.

Dan called Charlie and scheduled driving lessons for Alex the next day and not too much later did Alex excuse himself to bed (my bed). We decided to turn in for the night as well.

.x.x.x.

"I can't tell if he's maturing or becoming more of a little shit," Dan sighed and closed his bedroom door behind us. "What happened with that whole 'king' and 'knight' stuff between you two, anyway?"

I changed into some plaid pajama bottoms and a loose shirt as Dan did the same. "I just figured he out-grew it. I don't think I need to be his 'knight' anymore, honestly. He can handle himself."

Even inside the flat was starting to get cold because of the winter air. Snow was already beginning to cover Manchester in a soft blanket of white and the weather reminded me all too much of how our now began and I didn't know if it was consoling or the complete opposite. As much as I loved to reminisce, it always led to over-thinking. The past is long gone.

I collapsed onto our bed and snuggled under Dan's thick comforter. He'd had the same black and white checkered one for as long as I could remember. After he went to make sure Alex was in my room and not spying or anything, he returned and got in bed next to me. For a while we just lied there as we stared off, getting lost in our thoughts. The room was dark - spare the moonlight that crept through the partially open curtain.

"What are you thinking about?" Dan asked quietly.

"A lot of things. What are you thinking about?"

"I can't answer honestly because you-know-who is in the next room over." he teased. I huffed a laugh and let out a long breath.

"That Aiden kid, what did you think of him?" I turned to Dan. "He came off so strangely. One moment really formal and the next as a casual as could be."

Dan shrugged. "I don't know. I wouldn't worry about it."

"You're right. I don't know, I. . . .I just don't want to believe the obvious." I snuggled my head further into the pillow. Dan looked at me oddly.

"That's a weird way to put it," he muttered before leaning in and kissing me. His lips were warm against mine; the way he varied brief pecks to long, endearing kisses only made me love him that much more.

_You don't fucking deserve him!_

My thoughts managed to revisit bits of last nights dream. Dream Pj's statement still haunted me, even angered me. I was the one to deepen the kiss, driven by the thought of anyone else even thinking about having Dan. I felt his smile through his kiss and tried my best to hold mine back. There was something about having my fingers in his hair and his hands on my waist that made me really happy. Whether it be a sense of security or genuine passion, I enjoyed every second of it.

.x.x.x.

**Sorry for the filler chapter. To make up for it, next chapter will be up on Monday as opposed to Thursday. Yes, there will still be a chapter up on Thursday as well. ((maracas))**

**Also, I'll be reposting Petals on the Wind because I worked really hard on it in the past and want to give it a proper ending. I'm in the process of rewriting the second half at the moment, but it will be up on Monday, too. ((double maracas))**

**Catch ya later, skaters.**

**.x.x.x.**

**Love Always,**

**ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl**


	4. Alone

**Chapter Four**

**Alone**

.x.x.x.

"Remember, I'm not paying your bail if you get sent to prison for destroying half the town," Dan said lazily from the couch. It was the next morning and we were all waiting for Charlie's arrival to take Alex to learn how to drive. "And if Charlie gets noticed in public, which I'm sure he will, your name is Dean Winchester."

We all looked at Dan oddly. "What? I've been watching too much Supernatural lately."

"Knock, knock!" a voice called from outside the door. I jumped up to answer it. Charlie barely looked different from the last time we saw him. He had cut his hair a bit shorter and maybe grown a bit taller. Alex got up from the couch and started for the door.

"You know, Charlie, most people would just knock as opposed to announcing it," Dan grinned. "But, just teach him the basics. You can have him for as long as you want. Like, really. As long as you want. I mean take him to Canada for the year. I will genuinely not care."

Charlie laughed and Alex was already in the halls of our apartment. "Wow, you two have matured since the last I saw you," he observed. His black, thick-rimmed glasses brought out his light colored eyes. "I mean, you're not running all over the place with a cat anymore. That's a plus."

"It wasn't even our fucking cat," Dan muttered to himself and shook his head. "Anyway, thanks again." He got up from the couch and shut the door as they left. I took Dan's spot on the couch and looked over twitter on my phone. Same as usual.

I was in the middle of reading a tweet when Dan took my phone and tossed it aside. Before I could even say a word he was sat on my lap with his legs on either side of me. "You know," he murmured against my neck; his lips tickled and I felt my body tense up. "we have this flat to ourselves for the next couple hours."

I looked up into his eyes and it was like our unspoken agreement to continue. His lips met mine in a lustful manner and already his fingers had managed to start moving through my hair. My hands sat on his waist, playing at the loops of his skinny jeans where a belt should be.

Without warning, he sat down with more pressure and moved his body into mine. I let a muffled moan spill into the room and moved back against him. My hands made way into the back of his shirt and travelled further until it was off and nothing more than another meaningless object on the floor.

His neck had always been most sensitive for Dan, so obviously I wasted no time to start there. My lips moved over his skin and left small nips and kisses all down the right side of his neck. His breathing was heavier and he's moans and whines became audible.

He took my shirt off effortlessly and his chest was immediately pressed against mine. My arms folded behind his neck; my head resting on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and listened to every breath, felt every heartbeat, focused on every touch he gave. Two years later and it still felt like the beginning.

I leaned back onto the couch as he hovered over me. The warmth of his lips moved down my chest slowly, much too slowly. "Dan," I complained, "you're such a tease."

I felt his lips form into a smirk as he continued, "Nothing wrong in that," He looked up. "Now, your room or mine?"

.x.x.x.

The streets of Manchester

.x.x.x.

"So you're just going to ease up on the gas, just like this," Charlie instructed. He would be demonstrating how to drive for their first lesson. Their next session would be Alex behind the wheel. "Always remember to put your blinker on when you're turning as well."

Alex watched dully in the passenger seat. "Charlie, I know all of this already. Why did you used to drive cabs, anyway? You're youtube famous."

Charlie sighed and kept his eyes on the road. "I was in a gang." Alex waited for a punchline or even a 'just kidding!' but nothing.

"...A gang?" Charlie nodded. "You. In a gang. You've got to be kidding me." Alex had been through enough weirdness as it with Dan and his friends; enough to write a whole short story on. But, who would want to write something as stupid as that?-wait, shit.

"Yeah, a gang. You really thought we would drive taxis for the hell of it? You know Ben Cook?"

"No."

"It's okay, he's not important now anyway. He was our mafia leader."

"So now it's a mafia." Alex raised a brow.

"Nah. It just makes us sound like cool criminals," Charlie sighed dreamily, remembering the old days. "Your brother and Phil just so happened to get a couple rides when I was on top secret missions. Remember that time you were about to get jumped in that ally?"

"Sadly, yeah. You came out of nowhere in that cab with Pj and Chris; which makes no fucking sense because they were supposed to be in France - oh my god were Chris and Pj in your gang, I mean mafia?"

"Nope, just passed 'em on the way there. One of those guys beating you up was in the gang of our rivals, you just so happened to be there. Our mafia was the coolest in town."

"I'm sorry, what does this have to do with anything? You drove cabs because you were in a gang, so what?" Alex leaned his head against the window, once again bored.

"Sorry, I just got carried away. . .I miss those days so much..." Within seconds, the car was going eighty and swerving out of control.

"Charlie! What the fuck, you're gonna kill us!" Alex screamed, gripping to the handle above his seat for dear life.

"That's what Dan said the last time, too!" he wailed and stepped on the gas more. The car whirled past pedestrians and other cars. Charlie moved the wheel aggressively back and forth, barely driving at all.

"Calm the fuck down - cat!" Alex yelled out as a cat darted out into the middle of the road.

"Always with the goddamn cat!" Charlie dodged the cat and kept going.

"Bring me home. Now!" he demanded.

"Here."

"What?" Alex looked out the window to see they were parked outside of Dan and Phil's apartment. "Oh. Cool."

.x.x.x.

Manchester Flat

.x.x.x.

"I'm back." I heard Alex call from the living room. Dan was sleeping and I was uploading a video.

"How was driving?" I asked, closing my laptop as the video had finished uploading. He muttered that he'd rather not talk about it and walked off towards my room. My eyes shot open. "Hey! Alex, wait!"

I heard him open the door and throw his stuff down. A moment of silence passed before I heard him speak. "Dan, why are you in Phil's bed?"

"...When did you get home? And because I, uh, camera equipment is set up in there for a video and, uh, it's too cluttered." he lied.

"I got home not even two minutes ago. Come on, your turn to cook. Get up." I heard struggling, as if Alex was trying to pull Dan out of bed. "Get up!"

"G-get out! Phil!" he yelled.

"Nope. You're gonna get outta bed."

"Alex, get the fuck ou-"

"_Oh my god! Put on some clothes!_"

"_What? - What the hell, stop looking! Stop lookinggg!_"

"_My eyes! Fuck you! Just-_" A door slammed and Alex stumbled back into the living room. "I don't want to talk about it."

.x.x.x.

**Love Always,**

**ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl**


	5. Past Lives

**Chapter Five**

**Past Lives**

.x.x.x.

**Long and unedited chapter for your enjoyment (oops). I haven't had the time to go over these between journalism, actual writing on the side, and eventual poetry readings - which I'm stoked for. Anyway, enjoy this rough draft of a chapter from a while ago. (hopscotches away)**

.x.x.x.

Fire. I always did like the smell of it. Maybe it was because it was so calming and, for some reason, familiar.

Wait. Fire.

I open my eyes to see the rising flames, the overwhelming clouds of smoke. But, I'm not in Dan's room. No. I'm not even inside. Crowds of people run in terror in any direction. What an old-fashioned town this is, I think to myself. The buildings stand about two stories in height. All of them are connected in vertical lines that create an old ally effect. This is the kind of town that I would read about in history books. Wagons litter the streets, filled with people trying to escape the burning town. Everything is complete chaos.

"Watch out!" a voice cries out and I am tackled to the floor. A burning bit of roof crashes inches from me and my rescuer. "...Phil? What are ya doing out here! Get the fuck back to the castle!"

I stare at the man before me. He has dark blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Stubble litters his face. He is panting from his previous act. "Pewdiepie?"

"What the fuck is a pewdiepie? Go! Dan is probably besides himself at where you are." I notice he has a sword and wonder why he would need one.

"Sorry, uh, Felix?" I ask and he nods. "Where is the, um, this castle that Dan is in for some reason?" He looks at me like I'm crazy.

"'For some reason'? Bro, you must have really hit your head hard on that fall. Keep heading straight from here, you'll get there. Tell Pj that the southern front is holding up. I wonder how you managed to sneak past him, anyway."

"Pj is here?"

"Just go!"

I follow Felix's orders and run the distance to the castle. Commotion is everywhere. The fire grew and its smoke seemed to cover the sky. I run faster as I see Pj.

"Pj-!" I stop as I see he's leaning over someone. He seems to be having a conversation with a red-haired boy who lies on the ground below him. I'm within hearing distance.

"Tell her what, man?" Pj asks. He looks different - younger. I notice a wooden pencil behind his ear.

"That I loved her." the red-haired boy's voice is so soft and it seems to surprise Pj. "That I still love her and it's not fair how she's gone!" he cries out.

"I'm so sorry, I really am. Why don't you just drop everything and stay with my friends and I? They're really great people and wouldn't it be better than going back to Dathan?" Pj suggests while casually walking to retrieve his sword. What's Dathan, I wonder.

"Maybe..." he shrugs. Finally, it is calm again. The wind blows by and heartbeats slow down. The clouds and smoke still roll by gray overhead, but it isn't a bother; rather tranquil actually.

"Yeah, I think you'll like it here." Pj approaches his sword on the floor, "Chris is hilarious and Dan is sarcastic so they're great. Phil has his moments too. Felix is really cool as well! I'm actually working on this mural in the garden for us and I'm planning on having everyone finish up the rest of it. It's actually a cool painting of-"

A sharp pain goes through Pj's middle.

He is reaching for his sword when he sees droplets of blood begin to splatter the floor. Slowly, he looks down to see the blade of the boy's sword in the middle of him. The blood trickle down the blade and drip onto the pavement. They stay like that for a while; not moving. "...Why?"

I can't hold in my screams any longer. My stomach is in knots and my throat feels dry and in pain. "Pj!" I yell out and grab the sword, pointing it at the boy who now stands before me. My whole being shakes as I hold the sword, but I don't know what else to do.

"You did this to him," he smirks. "It's all your fault."

"What?...What the hell are you talking about!" I cry out. Before he can say anything, he begins to fade away. "Wait!" But it's too late. He's gone.

My attention flies back to Pj. "Peej! Please...please, wake up! Stay with me...what have I done..." I stare at him, into his now dull green eyes. His brown curls are blown by the wind over his face; I brush them away. My eyes drift to the broken pencil besides him. I hold the two pieces in my hand and clench them tightly in my hand. "I'm sorry."

I feel a presence and look up. "Dan?" He stands there, the smuggest look on his face. Slowly, he extends his arm and holds his hand out towards me. "How can you stand there like that!" I yell. "Don't you see Pj!?"

Still, he stands there with his eyes only focused on me. "Dan!" And just like the boy previously, he is gone. Then, I am, too.

.x.x.x.

"You told me this would stop happening," a voice sighed. I sat up straight away, observing my surroundings. Black and white checkered duvet, keyboard, amber lamp; I was back in Dan's room. "Another one of those dreams, huh?"

I nodded and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" I ignored him and went to the living room, hastily grabbing my cellphone off of the couch and dialing Pj's number. Five rings before he finally answered.

"Hello?" he murmured like he had just woken up.

"Pj? I, ah, really just wanted to call you."

There was a pause. "At six in the morning?" I hadn't even noticed the time when I woke up. "Are you all right? Where's Dan?"

"Um, sorry. About the time. He's in our room. Sorry again, I-"

"Phil, calm down. I can hardly understand what you're saying, man." I nodded and switched the phone to my other ear. For some reason, I just couldn't stop shaking.

I cleared my throat in hopes that it would help. "I had a nightmare and wanted to call you." Another pause.

"Yeah, bud, Dan's there for that." he sounded a bit set back. I shook my head; not that it mattered as he couldn't see me.

"I know he is. But it was about you and-"

"Phil," he cut me off, "I feel awkward enough as it is; you're calling me at six in the morning because you had a bad dream. Now you're saying you dreamt about me and I, ha, I don't feel very comfortable." Though obviously upset, he still had a silly tint to his voice.

"I, ah, I didn't mean it like that! I'm sorry - how's Chris?"

"He's sleeping. I should get going."

"Um, right. Sorry again about tha-"

"See ya, Phil."

"Right." He hung up. I made my way back into bed where Dan was waiting anxiously.

"Did you just call Pj?" I explained that I did, but it was nothing. Outside the sun was beginning to rise and light peeked through the drawn curtains. As much as I didn't want to go back to sleep in fear of another dream, I forced myself to. Pj was okay; all I needed to hear was his voice.

.x.x.x.

A week had passed since my first therapy session and it had been a week full of nothing. Dan and I just lounged about and completely neglected our youtube responsibilities. We made Alex go to school for a couple of days, but he came back on the weekends: "It's creepy at home with no one there."

We had heard from our parents, though. They seem to be getting along great, but it was still weird for Dan and I to accept that our parents were hanging out with one another.

I had therapy that day and wasn't exactly looking forward to it. Aiden seemed like a nice boy; it was just that I didn't believe he could do anything to help me. That and he and Alex would surely fight about whatever it may be. So Dan and I scheduled his driving lessons with Charlie that day.

"Knock, knock." Aiden called from outside our door and opened it.

"Why do people do that?" Dan muttered to himself, lazily looking over his phone. I invited Aiden in and offered him something to drink. "Okay, okay. I know. I'll be off in my room if you need me." Dan groaned and walked off on cue.

Aiden sat on the couch across from me and sat just as he did the previous session. "So, Phil," he began, his arms resting on his chest, "any dreams worth talking about?"

I noticed his bag that lied untouched on the floor to the side of him. "You don't need your notes?"

"Not anymore. So, has anything odd happened? - Holy shit, are those maltesers?" On the coffee table between us was a box of Dan's maltesers.

"Touch them and I'll eviscerate you!" Dan called from his room, followed by the slam of his door. Aiden only smirked to himself.

So the session went on. I explained Felix being there, the town in complete chaos, the fight between Pj and the other boy, and finally, about dream Dan.

"Right," he nodded to himself, "must've been scary," he glanced at the clock. "We have an extra ten minutes to spare. Anything else?"

I stared at him. "You don't have anything to say? I don't understand; aren't you supposed to be helping me? It's like free story time for you."

"Not exactly story time," he muttered to himself. "Look, we'll get to helping you. Right now we have to focus on a pattern in these dreams. I can't go off just one or two. You said this is twice you've been responsible for something happening to your friend Pj, right?" I nodded. "Well, there's one. We just have to wait for the others."

"I don't want to wait!" I exclaimed. "I'm sick of these nightmares and I want them to stop!"

He looked at me sadly with those huge green eyes of his. He had habit of tucking in the corners of his mouth when he's thinking, I'd noticed. "I, uh," he paused, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You're right. I'm not helping you much. Maybe," he stopped himself and looked away with a huff. "Do you believe in past lives?" I creased my brow and looked at him like he was crazy. Past lives? He'd had to be kidding me.

"No," I replied honestly. "sounds a bit rubbish, really."

He nods, laughing nervously. "Of course, haha. I just like to know my patients beliefs and whatnot. Back to your dreams-"

The front door was thrown open and Alex storms in. The keys clank as he throws them at the kitchen counter. "Dan isn't naked in my room, right? Good." his tone was cold and aggravated.

"Alex, get back here," I called with a sigh. "Where's Charlie?" He groaned and treaded back towards us. His arms crossed angrily, his shirt (which had the name of a band I've never heard of before) was long and reached halfway to the knees of his dark skinny jeans.

"Fired him. He nearly got us killed twice and asks a lot of annoying questions." he explained and turned to leave again. Aiden sat up.

"I could teach you how to drive. I got my license a while back." he offered. Alex just scoffed in response.

"Yeah. No thanks."

"Why not?" Aiden asked innocently.

"Because I said no."

"But it'll be fun," he insisted, "We can stop and share a milkshake and everything. Then, I'm thinking drive-in? Make sure to bring lots of pillows, though; we want to be comfortable." A wink was added and Alex was fuming.

"Fuck off." His door was slammed and that was it.

.x.x.x

**Love Always,**

**ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl**


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